FUN WITH WORDS

DILIP VENGSARKAR
When you rearrange the letters:
SPARKLING DRIVE

PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN


MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters:
NICE SILKY WOMAN


DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Kanjoos Makkhi Choos

Kanjoos: Yeh kaila(banana) kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Kanjoos: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Kanjoos:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de
************ ********* ********* ********* *****
A Kanjoos on his death time.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife:Yes, Im here
My sons & daughters ru all here?
Yes, Papa
Kanjoos:To phir baju wale kamre
ka pankha Q khula hay
************ ********* ********* *********
1 Kanjoos 14th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne apni ghar ki khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!
************ ********* ********* ********
Kanjoos ne arbi ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Arbi ne usay MERCEDES gift kardi.
Arbi ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Kanjoos ne phir khoon dia.
Ab k bar Arbi ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
Kanjoos:Ghusse se, mercedez kion nahi di?
Arbi:Munna!!
Ab hamarey ander bhi Kanjoos ka khoon dor raha hay



************ ********* ********* *******


A Kanjoos called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Baap Mar gaya hai, kya charges hongay?
NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
Kanjoos: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho "Sohan Bhai Died".
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Kanjoos: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do..... Acha likho....... ......... .
Sohan Bhai Died - Suzuki for Sale .
************ ********* ********* ******
Kanjoos ask to Taxi Driver: Abdullah Shah Ghazi k mazaar jao gay?
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
Kanjoos ne jaib se shopper nikala or kaha:
Wapsi main langar ki biryani lete aana.
************ ********* ********* ********* *



Shadi me 1 Kanjoos bahut der tk khata raha,
Kse ne pocha bhae kb tk khaty rhogy?
Kanjoos: Yaar me khud kha kha k thak gya hun pr kya karoon card me likha tha "Dinner 7 to 10pm
************ ********* ********* ********* ***
Kanjoos to dukandar: Yaar zara toothbrush dena mere brush ka 1 baal toot gaya hai
Dukandar: 1 baal toota to naya q le rahe ho
Kanjoos: jo toota hai woh akhri tha.
************ ********* ********* *******



EK KANJOOS KHALI KATOREY MAIN
ROTI DABA KAR KHA RAHA THA
WAITER NE DEKA TU POUCHA
AP YAH KIA KAR RAHEY HIAN
KANJOOS NE JAWAB DIYA
MAIN MATHS KA TEACHER HOON OR DALL
SUPPOSE KAR KAY KHARAHA HOON
************ ********* ********* ********* ***
Titanic K Sath Kanjoos Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
Dost:
Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Kanjoos:
Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda
************ ********* ********* ********

for laugh hehehehehe

How women call their husbands in the first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O jee.
Yr 3. Ajee Sunte ho?
Yr 4. O bunty ke pappa
Yr 5. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6. Tum aate ho ya main aaon?


Wife hits her husband with a frying pan
Husband: What was that for...?
Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the name Jenny on it.
Husband: I took part in a race last week and Jenny was the name of my horse..
Wife: Sorry..!
Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again
Husband: What now..?
Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.


Message of the year:
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life...!!
Why? Very simple…
A woman does not have a wife..!!!


Husband wife mein ladai ho gayi
Husband ghar se chala gaya
Husb:Rat ko phone pay,"Khanay mein kya hai"
Wife:Zeher.
Husb:Mai der se aoonga, tum kha kar so jana:


Man: Sir, my wife is missing ....
Postmaster: Bhai ye post office hai, police station me complain dijiyee.
Man: Kya karoon, khushi k mare kuch samajh nahin aa raha


Judge: Why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?
Sardar: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.




Wife: Jaanu kash aap SMS hotay, Main aap ko save karti,
Husband: Jaan-e-man, kaash tum ring tone hoti, Main her haftay tumhe change karta


Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaye the ... abhi tak wapis nahi aaye .... :-(
Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:- to behan kuch aur paka lo ... :-)

Optical Illusions

A)
YOUR EYES - its fun.

Can you find the B (there are 2B's)?

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR

Once you've found the B


Find the 1

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIII1III
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Once you found the 1........... ...



Find the 6


9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999699999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999


once youve found the 6...

Find the N (it's hard!!)

MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM

once you've found the N...


Find the O...
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQOQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQOQQQ QQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQ

how student pass............:))))

t's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365' days

Typical academic year for a student:

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing
properly & swallowing)- means 30days. Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means
15 days. days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.

10. Movies and functions -
at least 2 days. 1 day left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????!!! !!!!!!!
Balance = 0
"How can a student pass ??"

TONGUE TWISTERS

1. If you understand, say "understand" . If you don ' t understand, say " don ' t understand". But if you understand and say "don ' t understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!
**********
2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won ' t wish the wish you wish to wish.
**********
3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
**********
4 ..A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.
**********
5 .. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
**********
6 ..If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
**********
7 ..I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn ' t the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn ' t have thought so much.
**********
8 ..Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"
**********
9.Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside.

Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside.

Mr Outside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.
**********
10..SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES
**********
11.. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn. **********
12..If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor ' s the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor ' s way"
**********
13..We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We ' ll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. Watch? Whether the weather is hot.

Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.
**********
14..Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely .
**********
15 .A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue
**********
16..If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.
**********
17..Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See ' s saw sawed Soar ' s seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See ' s saw Before See sawed Soar ' s seesaw, See ' s saw would not have sawed Soar ' s seesaw. So See ' s saw sawed Soar ' s seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See ' s saw sawed Soar ' s seesaw .....

HOLI 2009

Hurray..................... tomorrow is holi
getting into festive mood slowly
a joyful and colourful festival
which is like a carnival
Enjoy to the fullest
A festival which is the coolest
a festival of holi
............. get going into it slowly